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last days of...

... being here, at my mum's home... need to go to the dentist, controlling... hope he will say "everythings ok" and i can leave as quik as possible.. i hate dentists... but i need this fuckin stamp in my bonusthingy..

 

everyday i have a look into this diary, but my friend sylvine doesnt say a word -cries- since today, she works in a new company. i hope, she will be happy there. new company, new aera in life. everyday is kind of new aera.

 
but mostely we recognize, when something huge happens. like end of school, ending relationship, moving away and so on... i just wonder, why i cannot see good things in changes. why i cannot leave things behind...

the past isnt past... no... it is just the moment. stuck in the past. i cannot get out.

and i hate it!!!! 

3.9.07 10:45


Geno my dear

I waited for you all the week end lol ! (quite), i had connection pb so i couldnt leave a message, so sorry. yeah it is a new life, past is behind me, but you are part from my present and my future, i don't forget you.

this evening i wanted to begin to buy things for you, but too tired and too late. but i will go tomorrow, i want to send you a big packet lol !!!!!

 trust in life my dear, i know it can be so difficul, but you have beautiful things to live, i'm sure, i'm certain: we have to meet us !!!! first ! and then, when you will have tidy your mind and let place for the future, it will be better...

 nice german friend, i like you, and even if i havent a lot of time in this moment, i'm here !

3.9.07 20:33


tired

aah, i am always tired, my little scary girl...

you know i am talking all the nights with this more than cute  boy Y. ...

he is so smart, handsome, cute, flirty... i like him. he makes me smile, when i am down. just by being here. even though, we dont know each other for a long time, we like to talk for hours. he makes me feel good and i hope he will be one of my best friends, somewhen... (: that would be great!...

 

ok, french lesson is over now.. you silly girl told me to use an "s" at the end of a 2nd person singular verb... BUT... sometimes i need at first person as well... tsss... i will never be good, when you make me crazy ^^

 

 

9.9.07 17:24


ultimate destination - eden

i would love to be there... garden eden... just peace, nature, sun, moon, wind, water, trees, grass... everything i need for life.. take some people with me... i think it would mostely be up to 4 i'd like to come along.. also you, sylvine...

syl is cute... she send me a packet by post... looooads of sweets... ones, we dont have here in germany.

now i need to find some they dont have over there. first i was thinking of the best chocolate ever: "kinder"...  but they have almost everything of that...

hum... but i will search and find stuff. she sent me some tea as well... i love tea. she really did something good to me. i was damn happy, when it arrived. i felt a little important. and thats fukin rare in my mind.

 some shit happened as well. my money is out. and i had to squarrel with social assistens office.. no i get money, but still, i dont know how much. the "fight" with my father sucks as well... everything is like a barrier, which dont want me to go on in life. to have success or just a little luck. i wouldnt bother if i had enough power and force to fight...

i will lay myself down now. speak a little to Y. i hope... and then: sleep... all day long, tomorrow....  

13.9.07 23:28


One day on the earth (Lofofora)

I can't listen to music this evening, cause my head will explose. In this week, different things happened. I thought past was behind me, but not for everything. Love is never easy thing, but life is going on, don't choice.

Since i came in this company, i don't see time goes on on the day, and excel is becoming one of my friends lol !

Geno, i wish you a lot of good things, if you see what i mean...

14.9.07 21:46